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One upon a time there was a King that loved children very much, and, because of this, he ordered that in all the schools of the kingdom, subjects were to be thought in, guess what? Sweets! Ah! Ah! Ah! No longer old books, but fresh pastries! Ah! Ah! Ah! Imagine what a feast it was for those children, and how happily they went to school! Some of them also wanted to go on Thursdays and Sundays! (long ago, in Italy, Thursday used to be a day off from school. TN) They never wanted holidays to arrive. No wonder! Every morning the janitor would take a tray full of candies, confections, chocolates and freshly baked pastries to the classroom, releasing a lukewarm fragrance in the air. At the end of a class, they ate everything. The blackboard was a big chocolate tablet, and the globe a great pie filled with candied fruit. Different coloured stringed candies made up the abacus; the inkwells were full of jam and cotton candy. They used flaky pastries as books, delicate pastries made up by thin leafs, one upon another! What a pleasure it was to leaf those books! Many times the children couldn’t resist the temptation and completely devoured them! Instead of merits, they gave students candies. Six to the mediocre, and up to ten to the best. None were given to the worst. Thye thought Arithmetic with chocolates and Italian with candies. The numbers and letters of the alphabet were printed on the wrapping paper. How many ate the chocolates and candies instead of eating the words!
What is three chocolates plus three?
Five.
Five? Five? Where did you put the other one?
I ate the other one.
To teach fractions, the teacher cut a cake into pieces. Once, during an Italian exam, he gave a big doughnut to each of the kids, and the essay: “Not all doughnuts come out with a hole.” Another time, during a Geography lesson, they had a bellyful of africans (chocolate covered pastries. TN) In those happy schools, they learnt calligraphy by writing with sugar on cakes and French with a mouthful of “marrons glacès.” During Science class, to explain the children the concept of cold, the teacher gave out ice cream; and to explain the concept of heat he gave out “fondants,” that are those chocolates that melt in your mouth due to heat. During singing lessons, the kids filled their mouth with sweet cough drops. Imagine the mess when there was a workshop, girls! They used special pastries to teach Geometry.
What’s this?
A puff pastry roll.
I know; I’m asking what kind of body it is.
A cylinder.
And that nougat?
A parallelepiped.
And that biscuit?
A rectangle.
Good; ten candies with honours.
Ah, studying must have been sweet in those schools! Even failing must have been sweet, because instead of kicking failing students behind with bowls, they used big “krapftens.” In fact, a lot of kids preferred failing with cream puffs rather than passing with wonderful marks.